Eclectic Gallimaufry

Disunity

2012-02-04T10:42:00.000-05:00

congregants conform
appearances can deceive
disunity grows

Annual All Purpose Greeting

2011-12-22T21:04:00.000-05:00

The following post is not my own writing, although I wish I could say that I did write it since I find it a fantastic piece of writing. Several years ago we received this greeting from Dan Whiting, a friend of my husband's. (I do not know if he is the original author or not. So if you are reading this and you recognize it as your work, or you do know who the author is, please let me know!) My husband and I thoroughly enjoyed it, and every year since then I have been sending it out via email to all our friends. It has now also become a part of my blog. Please enjoy the following in the humorous and light-hearted spirit in which it is given.

***************************************************************************

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my wish for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, politically correct, non-addictive, low stress, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, as well as the secular practices of your choice, but with full respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

And further, please accept my wish for a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year [2012], but not without due respect for the calendar of choice of other cultures whose contribution to our diverse society has helped make this country great (not to imply that USA is necessarily greater than any other country, and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, veteran status or sexual orientation of the wisher, wishee or their third party beneficiaries).

These wishes are limited to the customary and usual good tidings for a period of approximately one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first.

Note: By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal, and is revocable ab initio at the sole discretion of the wisher at any time, for any reason or for no reason.

This greeting is freely transferable provided that there is no alteration to the original greeting text. Any transfer is to be at the risk of the transferor who, by making such transfer, thereby agrees to hold the wishee harmless from any and all adverse consequences resulting from such transfer.

This greeting implies no promise by the wisher to actually take any action or fail to take any action to implement any of the wishes for the wishee her/himself or others, or responsibility for the consequences which may arise from the implementation or non-implementation of same.

This greeting is void where prohibited by law.

Battle

2011-11-21T21:53:00.002-05:00

salad or cupcakes?
take a walk or take a nap?
battle rages on

Chameleon

2011-11-21T21:50:00.002-05:00

survival technique
chameleon conformity
coward or a sage?

Arabesque

2011-11-17T19:58:00.000-05:00

wind tugs frosted leaves
tree stands in arabesque pose
colors dance to ground

Healthy Eating

2011-11-17T19:55:00.002-05:00

salad for my lunch
healthy eating is no fun
pretend it's ice cream

Contain

2011-11-17T19:52:00.002-05:00

"to have and to hold"
don't confuse it with "contain"
marriage mystery

Rescued Thoughts

2011-10-20T13:25:00.002-04:00

in my mind's river
thoughts about to float away
rescued by typing

summer memories

2011-09-01T07:37:00.000-04:00

summers at the lake
sneak a kiss with some cute boy
out behind the dock

Welcome September

2011-09-01T07:36:00.000-04:00

summer vanishes
August sneaks out the back door
September arrives

What If...

2011-08-05T09:30:00.001-04:00

what if no one cares
do your thoughts even matter?
what about feelings?

Giving Notice

2011-08-05T09:28:00.002-04:00

giving my notice
sick and tired of my job
OH Wait! This is life...

Cupid

2011-08-05T09:27:00.002-04:00

Cupid takes his aim
looks for unsuspecting fool
clear shot to my heart

Grain of Salt

2011-08-05T09:25:00.002-04:00

grain of salt needed
every story has ten sides
and that's a slow day

Proper Young Women

2011-08-05T09:24:00.003-04:00

proper young women
men always claim to like them
but never date them

Weather

2011-08-05T09:24:00.000-04:00

complain all you want
weather cares not what you say
it pays you no mind

Confession or Cognac

2011-08-05T09:22:00.002-04:00

can't remember which...
confession is good for soul
or is it cognac?

Neighbor's Music

2011-08-05T09:21:00.002-04:00

Dear Neighbor next door
your music is horrendous
why play it so loud?

Behind My House

2011-08-05T09:20:00.000-04:00

boys behind my house
shootin' bull and drinkin' booze
under twenty-one

Buzzwords

2011-08-05T09:18:00.002-04:00

buzzwords all the rage
intelligence not needed
impress everyone

World Markets

2011-08-05T09:17:00.002-04:00

world markets crashing
media reports the news
working poor trudge on

Haiku

2011-08-05T09:16:00.002-04:00

maximum feeling
syllabic limitation
poet's quandary

Old Heart, New Game

2011-08-05T09:15:00.001-04:00

dust off my old heart
deal me in on a new game
hope it's a thriller

Delivering Babies

2011-08-05T09:14:00.000-04:00

doctor gets credit
claims he delivered baby
but who did the work?

Rapture Billboards

2011-08-03T10:45:00.002-04:00

large rapture billboards
proved to be poor use of funds
wish they had fed poor

Rapture Van

2011-08-03T10:44:00.000-04:00

used van, low mileage
rapture propaganda paint
willing to sell cheap

Rapture

2011-08-03T10:41:00.001-04:00

no rapture in May
little miscalculation
sure complicates things

Intelligence

2011-08-03T10:34:00.002-04:00

should have known sooner
intelligence can't be bought
would have skipped college

Shirtless

2011-08-03T10:33:00.000-04:00

Dear Neighbor next door
you are forty years past prime
please put on your shirt

Loud Music

2011-08-03T10:31:00.002-04:00

Dear Man in next car
loud music just isn't cool
when you are sixty

Work or Wish?

2011-08-03T10:30:00.001-04:00

from my perspective
true love is more work than wish
plus self sacrifice

Rusty Coins

2011-08-03T10:29:00.000-04:00

once tossed with great hope
rusty coins in dried up wells
graveyard of wishes

Madness versus Hope

2011-08-03T10:25:00.002-04:00

madness versus hope
a lifelong tightrope journey
I fear there's no end

Behind the Wood Shed

2011-08-03T10:24:00.000-04:00

behind the wood shed
smokin' or makin' whoopie
between midday chores

One Step at a Time

2011-08-03T10:22:00.003-04:00

one step at a time
that describes my life story
shame mine go backwards

Smallest of Missteps

2011-08-03T10:21:00.001-04:00

smallest of missteps
heart slips off precipice edge
rock filled gorge below

True Faith

2011-08-01T14:11:00.001-04:00

faith worked out in deeds
this is by no means a myth
unconfined freedom

Doing Good

2011-08-01T14:10:00.001-04:00

"do good to all men"
not confined to those of faith
timeless instruction

Debt Ceiling Deal

2011-08-01T13:46:00.002-04:00

a debt ceiling deal
one step forward, two steps back
disaster pending

Debt Ceiling Debate

2011-08-01T13:44:00.000-04:00

"experts" one and all
but all opinions differ
debt ceiling debate

Debt Ceiling (in 75 words)

2011-07-29T10:18:00.001-04:00

Debt ceiling debacle. The debates and arguments seem endless. Descriptors such as "toe to toe" and "mano to mano" fly through the air. It's endless combat without any possible positive outcomes. It's a crowded arena. The public looks on with both thrill and horror. They don't want to watch, but they're captivated. The want a winner but for whom should they cheer? The fight will be to the death, but whose? Sensational theatre at its finest.

Xanthous

2011-05-16T10:30:00.002-04:00

Xanthous Texas rose

romance, legend and folklore

a story in song

Ankh

2011-05-16T10:29:00.000-04:00

ancient knitting stitch

long believed sacred symbol

ankh mystery solved

Middle East Protests

2011-05-16T09:43:00.002-04:00

Middle East protests
a tend toward democracy?
political hope?

Static

2011-05-16T09:42:00.002-04:00

relationship lull
static electricity
one small spark needed

Love in the Forest

2011-05-16T09:41:00.002-04:00

steamy encounter
sun dries dew on forest floor
lovers slowly dress

Anger's Thunder

2011-05-16T09:40:00.000-04:00

anger thunders loud
shield of conscience slips away
disaster ensues

Celebrate

2011-05-07T15:05:00.000-04:00

ancient manuscript
"celebrate" not "celibate" !
lost in translation

To Wind or Not to Wind...

2011-04-23T08:56:00.000-04:00

turbine energy
controversial nacelle
ruffling some feathers

Good Friday

2011-04-23T08:53:00.001-04:00

vision lost to sin
poetry of forgiveness
grace retrieves fallen

"Memories"

2011-04-21T20:59:00.000-04:00

create your own past
revise story to suit needs
lies or "memories"?

Push Up Bra

2011-04-17T21:14:00.000-04:00

push up bra secret
take low boobs and make them high
or pretend they're big

Doodles

2011-04-17T21:01:00.000-04:00

perfect attendance
doodles fill notebook pages
great artwork, low grade

Low Test Grades

2011-04-17T20:59:00.000-04:00

frequent absences
low test grades reflect habit
feigned shock level high

Low Pants

2011-04-17T20:58:00.000-04:00

pants worn way too low
bad fashion taste imo
cute green boxers though

Beware of Trojan Horses

2011-04-11T11:08:00.000-04:00

Let us keep in mind that a Trojan Horse was both presented by and welcomed by "outside the box" thinkers. Beware. You just might find yourself on the wrong side of that trick.

Babies

2011-04-11T09:21:00.002-04:00

little baby hands
soft touches explore my face
soft skin snuggles close

80's TV

2011-04-11T09:06:00.000-04:00

locked in a tool shed
no need to carry cell phone
MacGyver magic!

Standardized Tests

2011-04-11T09:04:00.000-04:00

no trial granted
death by standardized testing
a student nightmare

Politics 101

2011-04-11T09:00:00.002-04:00

tight-laced hypocrites
versus two-faced "progressives"
nutshell politics

Political Left or Right

2011-04-11T08:59:00.000-04:00

justify choices
left or right are all the same
rearrange stage set

My Maid

2011-04-11T08:57:00.002-04:00

strange thing 'bout my maid
she's not home when I'm not home
good help hard to find

Maine Summer

2011-04-11T08:56:00.000-04:00

mellow summer days
brackish marshes and sea air
frogs croak and gulls cry

My "Camp" in Maine

2011-04-11T08:55:00.000-04:00

"got a place up North"
could be a shack or mansion
Mainers call it "camp"

Facebook Friends

2011-04-11T08:53:00.000-04:00

"friending" mania
facebook reflects the culture
lots of width, no depth

On Aging...

2011-04-11T08:49:00.001-04:00

gray hairs and chin hairs
nature reveals correct age
youth exits stage left

Arizona Is Not New England

2011-04-11T08:42:00.003-04:00

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/04/10/us/10grass.html?_r=1&hp=&pagewanted=all

Arizona sands
different clime from New England
forced green is folly

Free Advice

2011-04-11T08:39:00.003-04:00

better block your ears
"free advice" comes with a price
mistakes are cheaper

Math and Pencils

2011-04-11T08:38:00.003-04:00

advantage of math
no matter your pencil size
you can still score well

Stopping By My Blog On A Cloudy Day

2011-02-16T12:49:00.001-05:00

(My apologies to Robert Frost. I hope he isn't turning over in his grave.)

Whose blog this is I think I know.
It seems my writing’s dried up though;
Not for a lack of things to say
But who would read it anyway?

Two hundred fifty words or less
I’m told is blogging at its best.
Just keep it simple, short and cute
Or bounce rates will be through the roof.

I give my puzzled head a shake
And ask if there is some mistake.
Can one have thoughts that are more ripe
Than ½ a page of 12 point type?

No matter now, no more I’ll say.
Perhaps I’ll find someone someday
With whom I’ll talk for hours on end
With whom I’ll talk for hours on end…

There Is NO White Sheet Covering My Face!!

2010-10-29T10:26:00.002-04:00

"KKK". "Xenophobia". "Racist". "Segregationist". "Anti-Immigration". "Hostile".

All words being used these days to describe those who are not in favor of non-citizen voting. These ill-founded and nonsensical, yet highly emotional, accusations are showing up in news articles, blogs and on twitter pages everywhere these days in the Portland, Maine area. Question #4 on the ballot really seems to be bringing out the worst in everyone. This Portland Press Herald article in particular really grated on my nerves when I saw it.

As I've said before in my other blog posts (Part 1, Part 2), I generally don't like to verbalize political thoughts too much. I prefer to express my opinions in the privacy of the voting booth. And I'm thankful that it is private. Sometimes I don't even talk about my views with my husband. (Besides, I hate it when his vote sometimes cancels out mine!) However all the conversation around this topic, most of it irrational, inaccurate and emotional, is really getting to me.

Before even making any politically related comments, I would like to focus on a quick, but important, science lesson. Anyone ever hear of "fight or flight"? Yep, way back in junior high science class. How about evolution? Anyone know what that is? Yep, way back in elementary school science class and every science class from then on. So what's the point? The point is that it is the nature of all animals to initially react negatively to an unfamiliar situation. It has nothing to do with hate or prejudice. It is simply the nature of the beast, so to speak. Whenever we hear an accent different from ours, see a skin color that doesn't match ours, hear about a faith that is not our own, etc, we raise the hair on the back of our neck. It's not a choice. Sometimes we do it even in familiar situations. Sometimes we instinctively raise the hair on the back of necks no matter what. Humans have not come as far as they have in the evolutionary process by rolling over and exposing our stomachs whenever we encountered a new situation. If we had, we wouldn't exist.

Our brains work the same way. Whenever a new idea, situation, person, accent or piece of information is introduced, it is initially rejected. That is Psychology 101. It has nothing to do with racism, hostility, xenophobia or whatever other term people want to attach to it.

Now for a lesson in social dynamics: Humans disagree.

Simple isn't it? Well you wouldn't think so the way the heated accusations are flying around these days.

But the reality is that for as many people as there is out there, there are equally as many opinions. Some of them line up perfectly with one another; some of them are diametrically opposed. But most fall somewhere in between. There are places where my thoughts and ideas overlap with others, and then they diverge once again and end up in very different places. This is why, I think, Question #4 is a difficult one. As far as I can see, it really is not a "yes" or "no" answer. However, it has to get on the ballot that way. So there it is.

Now let me address just a couple of the glaring errors that I saw in this particular Portland Press Herald article:

First of all, attempting to win an argument by manipulating people's emotions is WRONG. Period. Refer back to line 1 of this blog post. Those are emotionally provocative words. They are not words which are being used to induce intelligent conversation. Instead they are attempting to get a rise out of people who disagree with non-citizen voting. Those words are being used to attempt to get those who do not agree with the article to respond from emotions in such a way that they will look like ignorant morons. And sadly, sometimes it works.

Those words are also being used to frighten people into agreeing with non-citizen voting. After all, who wants to be a hostile, xenophobic, KKK member? Likely not too many people. Therefore, this article is terrifying people into voting in favor of non-citizen voting so that they don't look like the picture the article is painting of opponents. While it may possibly get you the vote, the tactic is a bad one. And the long term results have the potential to be disastrous.

Secondly, the writer of this article needs a short history lesson (as do a number of people on twitter). A quick read of this article would make you think that prior to the 1920's anyone and everyone had the right to march into the voting booth in America and vote.

Hmmmm... Ever hear of the 19th Amendment to the US Constitution which was ratified on August 18, 1920? Ever hear of the 26th Amendment to the US Constitution which was ratified on July 1, 1971?

No. Not anyone and everyone could vote before the 1920's in America. Not even American citizens!

Along a similar vein, much could be said about the disgraces in American history in regards to voting and people of color.

Finally, let's get one thing straight here. Regarding non-citizen voting or any other issue, there will always be disagreement.

In regards to personal prejudices, yes it is true; I simply may not like you. The reasons are myriad why people decide they do not like each other. Unfortunately it is the reality of being human.

Nevertheless, when expressed, I will admit my thoughts and views are mine. You will know who I am when I talk to you. Let's be certain of one thing here: There is NO white sheet covering my face!!

Part 1 here
Part 2 here

I Know How That Works

2010-10-28T12:39:00.002-04:00

I can't hold back. All the things that I have been refraining from saying in recent weeks are bursting out today. I have been reading and listening to so much about this issue of non-citizen voting. Most of it has been highly emotional. An advocate of non-citizen voting will present an argument that hits on people's emotions rather than their logic. The arguments are being presented in such a way that those who do not agree get all fired up and then they respond from an emotional level. Prejudices come out, accusations fly, irrational feelings and fears surface. This is not what we need.

And then there are the arguments that sound good until you have time to sit back and ruminate on what was said. The following is an example of one of my own experiences:

"I know more about American politics than most Americans". "I know more about [a certain city] politics than people who have lived there all their lives". Or so I was told in a conversation with a non-citizen. It was true. I have no doubt that the person I was talking to, despite not being a citizen, knew a great deal about local, state and federal politics in America. It was likely true that this person knew more than many Americans. Likely he knows more than I do. Therefore, based on this fact, he was making the argument that he should have the right to vote in America. He felt that he could make better and more well-informed decisions as a non-citizen than most citizens. There was a great deal of truth in what he said.

So the question is, should knowing how American politics works give you the right to vote in America?

Here is a similar argument:

I know how an erection works. I can give you a detailed explanation, draw a diagram and probably even use correct medical terminology. It is quite possible that I know more about how erections work than most men do. Therefore I have earned the right to be a man.

Why are you laughing? The logic is sound.

Or is it?

Again, as I said in my last post, give me something to work with here. If rational, well-informed decisions are important to you, give me some logic to chew on.

But if you simply want to talk about who knows more about HOW things work, then we can discuss erections as easily as we can discuss politics. And each of us will go home at the end of the day shaking our head in disbelief at the other.

Part 1 here
Part 3 here

Taxation Without Representation

2010-10-28T10:52:00.004-04:00

Generally I don't like to express political views too loudly. But some recent issues have been getting a lot of attention in editorials, blogs and on twitter. So I am making a few brief comments of my own.

This year on the ballot in Portland, Maine there is a question about non-citizen voting. I've heard and read lots of comments about this question in particular. While I am not addressing whether non-citizen voting should be approved or not, I am going to express my thoughts about one of the arguments. "Taxation Without Representation" is a popular cry among advocates of non-citizen voting. These people argue that non-citizens pay taxes just like everyone else, therefore they should have the right to vote.

In response I have a couple of questions:

The last time you had to call 9-1-1, did the dispatcher ask you if you were a citizen before dispatching help to you?

When you received an education in an American public school system, did the teacher ask you if you were a citizen before he/she agreed to teach you?

The last time you borrowed a book from a public library did the librarian ask you if you were a citizen before he/she checked out your books?

The last time you applied for a federal grant to fund your business or research was being an American citizen a requirement before the funding was granted?

Last time your income level allowed you to qualify for the WIC program, did anyone ask you if you were a citizen before they granted you funds?

I could go on and on. But I think the point is made. In case you didn't notice, all of the above mentioned things are funded with tax money. If you have ever been a recipient of any of those services, citizen or not, you have more than used any amount of tax money that you have ever put in to the system.

More observations:

The voting age in many places used to be 21. In past generations people also used to hold steady jobs at a fairly young age. People under the age of 21 often owned property. People under the age of 21 were drafted into the armed services.

It's a simple math problem. An American citizen could have potentially been working for many years and paying taxes without the right to vote. An American citizen could have been drafted into the armed services and served their country for a number of years, perhaps even died doing so, without ever having had the right to vote. An American citizen could have owned a home and been paying property taxes for a number of years without having the right to vote.

The voting age is now 18. Here's another simple math problem: If you start working at 15 and paying income taxes, how many years will you pay taxes without having the right to vote?

Now for a history lesson:

When did female American citizens gain the right to vote? Ok, I'll say no more on that one. That is an entire blog entry (thesis paper?) unto itself.

The point is that EVERYONE in America, citizen or otherwise, experiences "Taxation Without Representation".

I do not care to comment on whether or not non-citizen voting should be approved. However, what I am saying is that "Taxation Without Representation" is a poor argument. Give me something better to work with.

Part 2 here
Part 3 here

I Have A Lot To Say...

2010-10-28T10:18:00.001-04:00

which is why I find that it is very difficult for me to blog. You would think that it would be exactly the opposite. You would think that this would be a great place for me to get my thoughts out. But I find that exactly the opposite is the case.

Often times when I read other blogs, it seems that people are writing one or two quick paragraphs about a thought that is on their mind. Or the writer may be giving a quick update about an experience and making a short comment about how he/she feels about it. As a result their blogs are always being updated and I am always clicking on their site and seeing what they have to say.

I can't do that. I never could. And the older I get, the more I find that it is increasingly difficult. It is like those nonsense "get to know you" exercises where you are asked to "define yourself in one sentence". What kind of absurdity is that? What a ridiculous idea that anyone can be defined in one sentence. Even the most seemingly boring of people have far more to them than that!

But in a world of instant information and text message relationships, things have to be short. It appears that those of us who do not function that way will not survive the current wave of social evolution. So perhaps I am a dying breed.

If so, I will die with my head full of thoughts and well reasoned conversation. I refuse to be sucked into "one sentence" definitions of anything.

Furthermore I need to be able to think and analyze. And I expect that to be respected. I do not want to be emotionally manipulated by 30 second, campaign ad type conversation and writing. I need to hear not just both sides of the issue, but every possible side of the issue. For every story has many more than just two sides.

I do not want to deal with "slippery eel" techniques that people use when you are conversing with them. I do not want the subject constantly changed and have someone attempt to emotionally manipulate me off on some unrelated tangent.

I don't mind short writings at all. In fact, I often enjoy them. However, I do not want a one paragraph summary which attempts to present itself as the entire picture.

Ok, I'm going to stop talking now because in a text message world, I can see that this blog entry is already way too long.

Does anyone else out there relate?

Quiet Places

2010-10-04T16:43:00.002-04:00

Lately I seem to often be on the lookout for quiet places. I've always enjoyed quiet places that are away from noise and traffic. But lately I have come to believe that they are downright essential to my survival.

I did not always realize how necessary quiet places are. During the years that I was in my twenties I lived in a suburb of Philadelphia and then in a suburb of Boston. I don't seem to remember ever even hearing the noise that was constantly around me. In fact I loved taking the train into Philadelphia on weekends and walking around the city. Then when I moved to Boston, I loved it. I was always on the subway going here and there. Public transportation and crowds were a way of life going to and from work. I went downtown a lot just to be in the middle of the noise and chaos. When I drove places I didn't think a thing of the crazy, crowded, nerve-wracking, white-knuckle traffic conditions that were an every day part of my life everywhere I went. In my thirties I lived in Grand Rapids, Michigan for a few years. While not a big city, it still had its share of noise and traffic. Then I moved to Portland, Maine. Again, certainly not a place that is a Boston caliber city, but a city none the less.

Now, although I grew up a country girl, I personally happen to like cities. Despite the fact that growing up in the country was beautiful, once I reached adulthood and moved to a city, it spoiled me. I like the convenience and easy accessibility to everything I need. I like the fact that the school, the library, and the grocery store are all within a mile or two. I like being within a few miles of two great hospitals and all doctors offices. I like being less than a block away from the dentist and the orthodontist. I like the fact that within a one mile radius of my home there are two fire stations. I like the fact that my husband works close to home. I like the fact that I don't have to go far at all to find part time or temp jobs. I like being able to hook up to city water and city sewer. I like city garbage pick up. I like the fact that no matter how bad a winter storm may be, I know that I will get plowed out quickly and be able to be on my way without too much trouble. I like the fact that I almost never lose power when there is a storm, and if I do, it is back on within a short amount of time.

But cities are also noisy and crowded places. I spend my days listening to traffic, sirens, motorcycles, airplanes, people's voices, horns honking, trucks shifting gears, buses stopping and starting... Stores are crowded, traffic is constant... And so, along with the convenience of the city comes the price you pay to live there.

Fortunately I also live in a beautiful area - the coast of Maine. Any time I want I can take a walk or a bike ride or a short car ride to absolutely beautiful places. And some of those places, though only minutes away from the city, seem like worlds away. One of my favorite places to go for some peace, quiet and beauty is Two Lights State Park. It is just a short drive from where I live, and yet on some days it feels like another planet.

On one of our recent visits to Two Lights State Park, my daughter took some fantastic pictures . I have included a few of them in this post to give you a little idea of the beauty that we enjoy there.

Sometimes I go to Two Lights when I feel like I need to restore. I sit on the rocks and listen to the waves as they crash against the rocky shore. I explore the little tide pool areas that are exposed at low tide. I look out over the vast expanse of open ocean. I get lost in the sounds of the waves crashing and the sea gulls calling. The city and its noise are gone. I sit there for a couple of hours and enjoy the fact that I have such a beautiful place where I can escape noise and chaos. I breathe deeply and take in the view. The sounds of nature fill my ears and natural beauty meets my eyes everywhere I look. Any time of year is beautiful there. I enjoy sitting there alone for a while and thinking about absolutely nothing but my surroundings.

When I leave I feel refreshed.

Prince Edward Island

2010-09-09T11:12:00.004-04:00

Prince Edward Island...

Beautiful.

Peaceful.

Restorative.

Relaxing.

Historic Avonlea Village.

Interesting,

When I sat down to write this blog post, I was going to talk about our vacations over the past several years on Prince Edward Island. There is so much to say, so much to tell about... and yet the words aren't there. I don't know where to begin...

So perhaps the pictures will speak for themselves. After all, a picture is worth a thousand words.

I could try to describe how beautiful it is, but nothing could do it justice. This year we rented a house for a week in the town of Morell near St Peter's Bay. I looked out on this every day:

There is really nothing that can describe the peace and the beauty. You would have to see it for yourself.

A couple of times in previous years we rented an adorable cottage in Long River called Chrissydale Cottage.

As you can see from the picture, it is in a beautiful and peaceful spot.

I could try to explain how I breath a sigh of relief as soon as I cross the Confederation Bridge and get onto the Island. But unless you've experienced it, I don't know if you would understand. Years ago when I was single and visited PEI a few times, there was no bridge. Back then we had to use the ferry to get to the Island from New Brunswick. Granted, it was more exotic and romantic of a feel than the bridge. But the feeling you get as soon as you are on the shores of PEI is still the same. You take a deep breath and sigh deeply. Peace descends. And you know your vacation has truly begun.

I could talk about the miles of beautiful red cliffs that drop right down to the water,

or try to describe the peaceful beaches and the gorgeous boardwalks at the National Park.

But you would have to see for yourself to really appreciate it. Meanwhile, I hope the pictures are doing a good job of giving you the idea.

And then, of course, there is Anne's Land. The Green Gables House

and Avonlea Village being the most well known.

For those of you who like to visit places that are off the beaten path, there are plenty of interesting things for you to see also. The Potato Museum is a neat place to visit. Or perhaps you would like to see the Glass Bottle Houses.

There are quaint fishing villages and working waterfronts.

And if you are lucky and catch it at the right time, there are places where you can see the seaweed known as Irish Moss being harvested.

And no trip to PEI would be complete without visiting beautiful North Cape and the wind farm there.

This year was especially beautiful and peaceful there. The weather was perfect. The house we rented was lovely. We had a chance to visit with friends that we don't get to see often enough. I enjoyed watching sunrises and sunsets. I had a chance to sit out at night and see the stars. There were no city lights to block my view - or any lights for that matter.

It was very difficult to leave PEI this year. Even more so than in other years. I cried most of the way home.

I live in a beautiful part of the world, and I wouldn't trade it for any other region of the country. But I do live in a city. And every day, all day and all night, I live with noise, traffic, city lights, police sirens, crowded stores... And then there is the every day stuff that everyone deals with: job stress, too many bills, school conferences, sick kids... You know the routine. You do it too. For one precious week this year I truly felt like I left every bit of that behind. And it was very hard to come back to it all this year after spending time in the beauty, peace and tranquility of PEI.

Ah well. Next year I hope to be back in PEI again. Even if it is only for a week or two.

Last Night I Didn't Win The Lottery

2010-07-25T23:13:00.001-04:00

Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work. Robert Orben

I'm not much of a gambler by nature. I've never been able to understand it logically. I don't buy raffle tickets. I don't do those "silent auction" things. Maybe as a math teacher I just can't justify spending money on something that has such bad odds. Whatever it is, I don't like to spend money just to get nothing in return. But I must admit, every once in a while I buy a lottery ticket.

I do it about 3 or 4 times a year. I figure if I'm willing to spend $1.75 on a cup of coffee once a week that gives me nothing in return except for a trip to the bathroom an hour later, I might as well waste $1 on a lottery ticket a few times a year. Worst case scenario I can always use it for toilet paper when I have to go to the bathroom as a result of the coffee I drank. So yesterday morning was one of those dollar wasting days. I bought a Maine State Lottery Mega Millions ticket.

It wasn't a winner.

Nevertheless it set me to thinking...

Years ago my husband used to work in a convenience store. People would come into the store on a regular basis and drop as much as $20 or $30 a day on lottery tickets. And they wouldn't blink an eye doing it. Then on top of that they would spend that much or more buying cigarettes and beer.

Now of course anyone is free to spend his/her money any way he/she sees fit. However a lot of the people who buy lottery tickets are senior citizens who are part of a segment of the population that tries to convince me that they have life so tough because they live on a "fixed income" or "limited income". (As an aside, I consider that one of the most absurd things I've ever heard. For the record my income is "limited" too.) I've also seen single moms buying lottery tickets, cigarettes and alcohol. As a college teacher I met a lot of young single moms. And while I can't speak for all single moms, I know for a fact that many of the ones I met qualified for a great deal of government aid and free education. Where are they getting the money for lottery tickets, cigarettes and alcohol?

I could go on and on. But I'll stop because otherwise I'll just get rude.

So next time I need clothes, or my husband or my kids need clothes, I'll make my way over to the Salvation Army thrift store.

Next time I need a new couch, I'll wait for big item garbage day and drive around the nice neighborhoods and see what people are throwing out. (It's amazing how nicely you can furnish a house from the "garbage" people throw out on big item day.) If I see anything good, maybe my neighbor will let me borrow his pick up truck. If I happen to be in a mood to really splurge, I'll head on over to Marden's Surplus and Salvage Store and see what shipments they've gotten in lately.

I wonder if I'll run into any senior citizens or single moms? Or will they all be at the mall? And then when they're done shopping at Macy's, I wonder if they will they stop off at the convenience store on the way home to buy their lottery tickets, cigarettes and alcohol?

Why Writing Made Me Weary

2010-07-23T15:28:00.002-04:00

It has been a long time since I've posted to my blog. A few people have commented to me that they have noticed that it has been quiet for a long time. A couple of others commented that they always enjoyed reading my posts when I would update. So here is a post to those of you who have been wondering where I am.

I'm still here. I'm just not writing.

When I was writing blog posts, as with everything in my life, I put a lot of work into my posts. I would put a lot of thought into what I said. I would take care to make sure that I checked spelling and grammar. I would review, revise, rewrite, reconsider, review, revise, rewrite, reconsider...

I would go back over my work many times to make sure that I was clearly and sensibly conveying my thoughts. I would try to be sure that the thoughts were being presented in such a way that it would make sense to the reader and that he would understand where I was going whether or not he agreed with me. I would spend hours working on a post that would take only a few minutes to read.

After a while I realized that I was putting as much work, if not more, into my blog posts as I used to put into my college papers many years ago. I realized that I was putting as much work into my blog posts as I would put into professional email communication when it was required of me.

I realized that my blog posts had become work. But more than that, they had become work for which I was not being compensated in any way.

Now compensation does not have to be financial by any means. But when work and effort is given to a task there should be some sort of compensation. What that compensation is may mean something different to each individual. Compensation occurs in all kinds of ways, and how satisfying it is depends entirely upon the person receiving the compensation. Therefore there is no particular formula for a person putting effort into writing to be compensated. To me, writing is similar to a relationship. You determine whether or not you are getting a return on your investment, and then based on that, you continue or you don't.

Obviously, I've been in "don't" mode.

Sometimes I write simply because I want to. Other times I write because I have to. Writing can be a means of communication, a source of personal enjoyment, a catharsis, a creative outlet, a job... The list goes on and on. Obviously blogging is not my job. Therefore it would have to fall into the category of something that I do for enjoyment. Instead I found that expressing my thoughts, no matter the subject area, had become work for me. Furthermore, I found it to be wearying. So it's been quiet here lately at Eclectic Gallimaufry.

Life consists of a great amount of work. I have a husband and three young children. That is a full time job. I have a home that I take care of, home repair projects that I work on with my husband and gardens that I tend in the summer. That is another full time job.

I cook all my own meals and I clean my own house. That is another full time job. I also work part time outside the home. Right now I don't want any more jobs, particularly ones that do not come with any type of compensation. So when I found that writing had become a non-compensated job for me, I quit.

As with everything in life, a story is always much longer and more involved than would appear on the surface. And so it is with my not wanting to write. The short version is that I don't have the heart for it at the moment. I don't want to give it the energy that it requires of me. The long version, that likely will never be told, is the one that, if I were writing, would talk about why my heart and energy is gone from any kind of writing. But that is a post for a writer. And at the moment that isn't me.

I'll be back. At least that's my plan. And it's always good to have a plan, even if for no other reason but to throw it all out the window and do something different so that you can feel spontaneous.

Meanwhile, for a 140 character update of my life on a regular basis, you can find me on Twitter at @FishMath. Visit me there. http://twitter.com/fishmath

Kitchen Haiku

2010-03-29T10:07:00.002-04:00

Beautiful Kitchen

I had you spotlessly clean

Then my kids came home

College Cinquain

2010-03-26T20:58:00.001-04:00

College

A place to learn

Things mom never told you

Unlimited education

Starts here

In Late Fall

2010-03-26T20:25:00.001-04:00

last of foliage
midst tiny bullets of snow
clings to moonlit trees

College Life Haiku

2010-03-26T19:43:00.003-04:00

beer, sex, weed, parties

college life philosophy

oh yeah, and classes

Letter to my Department Chair and the Dean of Student Affairs

2010-03-14T16:19:00.009-04:00

Over the past couple of weeks a few things have occurred in the education/teaching segment of my life. Each one left me with my thoughts churning. However, when I tried to sit down and express it in such a way that it could be condensed into effective written communication, I was at a loss for words. (I know, hard to believe about me.)

One of the changes this term is the "conditional acceptance" classes at one of the colleges where I teach. I am currently teaching two of those classes. These classes are part of a number of changes that have been going on there over the past couple of years. These classes are a result of the fact that the college now administers the Wonderlic Test to all incoming students.

If a student scores 19 or below, they must take "conditional acceptance" classes, which, of course, they must pay for. A student must get a C or better in these classes or they will not be accepted to the college.

Since the students in these classes typically do not have a history of academic success, we keep a close eye on their progress in the opening weeks.

If there is any indication of lack of progress, we immediately alert the Academic Assistance Center and work with the Center and the student in order to get the student the help they need in order to be successful in these classes

That said, I have decided to post the letter that I wrote today to my Department Chair and the Dean of Student Affairs. The following is some insight into my recent weeks in the education arena. (I did not include the pictures in my email. I just enjoyed inserting them in my blog)

Dear __________,

I have several students in the M/W class that are causing me concern as far as their academic success goes. I wanted to bring this to your attention at this point since a couple of terms ago there had been some question as to why my students were getting good grades on homework and poor grades on tests. So here goes...

In the past, as you know since the department grading system was set for us, I factored homework grades into the final grade. It was an opportunity for students to receive some points for the time and effort they put into homework. However, as we all know, when doing homework, students can beg, borrow, steal, cheat, have a fancy calculator do it for them (if they know how to program it), have an online program do it for them (there are plenty of them out there), or whatever other means they deem necessary in order to get a good grade on homework.

Therefore it is very possible, and in some cases quite likely, to get very good grades on homework and have no clue whatsoever what you are doing. Therefore a more accurate litmus test was the in-class tests themselves. On these, the students who chose to not do their own homework or got "help" with it ended up with very poor grades.

Now fast forward to this term...

As you know from the syllabus, homework does not actually factor into the grade (unless you want to give it a few points for the attendance/participation portion of the points). Because of this, and given the fact that these students are well into adulthood, I have left them to self-monitoring their homework. I have used a 1 question "pop quiz" or a few random homework problems to count as part of the participation points. However, they are on their own with the amount of homework they actually do. I suspect some students are doing none of it.

Additionally, there are several students in the class who have informed me a number of times that they "don't need this class", they "already know how to do all the work", etc. They don't pay a bit of attention to the instructions and methods that are being taught for how to do the math and they ignore the notes I put on the overhead. I know this because in the past couple of weeks I have given 1 "pop quiz" and checked 2 assignments. Even when the answers are correct, the method of approach is completely wrong. Therefore, as the math continues to get harder, the student will be totally unprepared.

(Please trust me on this. I have been tutoring/teaching math for 25 years - literally everything from Counting to Calculus, 4 year olds to 70 year olds.)

Since I understand the gravity of the situation, and what it means if a student does not pass this class, I am bringing it to your attention now. I am not sure that some of the students in that M/W class will be able to pass. If they do manage to squeak out a C, I can assure you that they will in no way be prepared to flourish in another, more difficult math class if they are required to take one.

All of my teaching is done with the idea of preparing students for math beyond the extremely elementary level at which the first couple of weeks of the term starts. I know my subject and I handle it well. I know what is coming and what it takes to be prepared. My goal for every student is that they have methods and conceptual understanding that will allow them to succeed as the level of difficulty increases. If a student refuses to trust my teaching at an elementary level, there is no possible way that they can be prepared as the assignments become more difficult Even in this class, I doubt they will be able to do the math required by the end of the term.

Besides the immaturity of having a student say "my other math teachers never taught it that way", or "I've never seen it done that way before", or "well I think that the way I do it works ok", there is the problem that they don't understand that it is precisely that attitude which landed them in a developmental level math class.

Whatever previous teachers did or did not do or teach I obviously can not say. But this much I know; if the student had grasped the material to the level that they are trying to convince me of, I would be teaching a College Calculus class right now and not addition and subtraction of fractions!

Please do not misunderstand that last comment either. I love to teach at any level. And frankly, I find lower levels of mathematics much more practical, since it is what 95% of the population uses most of the time, and therefore it is enjoyable to teach - seeing that I tend to lean toward practicality by nature. However, I do also understand that there is math beyond where these students are right now. And if they are ever to be truly prepared, they must conceptually learn the material. There is no other choice. Therefore it is the way I teach. I teach with both present and future success in mind.

All of that said, I would like some input from you as to how I should proceed from here. These students are going to fall behind in the coming weeks as the pace and difficulty level increases. Some of them are already behind, although they don't realize or believe it yet. Furthermore, they will not be able to learn if they are convinced that they "already know all this stuff" and "the way they've always done it works fine". In order for them to be successful, they are first going to have to accept the fact that they don't know everything. After that they are going to have to accept the fact that long term success in mathematics requires you to be willing to wire your brain for conceptual understanding, NOT quick tricks.

Please understand that I am a teacher. It is where my heart is. And to me that means that I give my students the conceptual understanding that they need to succeed now and in any future math endeavor.

Sincerely,

Carolyn

Math, Marriage, Music... and other musings

2010-03-01T10:36:00.008-05:00

What exactly is a "better half"?

As with most things, this blog has been churning around in my head for a while. But it really started taking shape a couple of weeks ago on Valentine's Day. I was poking around on twitter profiles, as I sometimes do, just to see what people were saying, and I found a comment on someone's page that referred to their girlfriend as their

"better half". I'm familiar with the phrase "my other half" or "my better half". In my younger day it was a phrase reserved for describing marriage relationships.

But I've noticed, as of late, that it has made its way into any kind of relationship where there is some sort of understanding between two people - even though there may be no intention whatsoever of the relationship ever becoming permanent. Oh, and I've also noticed that when I hear it I can safely bet that it means "we are sleeping together".

Well... sleeping together you may be. And when it comes to having sexual intercourse, I guess that does involve two people participating in one event simultaneously. So perhaps you are drawing some sort of idea of "two halves make a whole" from that.

Or maybe you just simply use the expression to refer to your current boyfriend/girlfriend. Perhaps you are referring to the fact that the two of you are currently in one relationship together, and therefore you think that each of you makes up a half. I don't know. But either way, I do have an opinion. If that's all it is to you, then your understanding of relationship mathematics is quite limited.

At any rate, this reference to a "better half" set me to thinking. "My other half" or "my better half" is not an expression I use when referring to my husband. I don't think that I intentionally avoid it. I just don't use it. And when I thought about that, I began to wonder how I would describe my relationship.

Wow... That's an incredible question... What came to my mind was not words. When thinking about that question, the answer seemed to transcend words. My mind began to generate images, but not ones that I could describe.

Also in my mind's ear it was like I was listening to music, but I could not describe the sound.
In the core of my being I had feelings that I'm sure I could never explain. And yet words are how we humans communicate for the most part. So how to explain?

I wondered... If I had to explain it using math, would I use "halves"? No. It doesn't do justice to the relationship. I am a whole. And yet I am not the same whole that I was 15 years ago - or even 15 days ago. The relationship is always changing me. I am a whole, my husband is a whole. At the same time the marriage is a whole. But it's so much more. It's many pieces contributing to one whole. Would a mosaic better describe it? I don't know.
And it is always getting deeper, deeper, larger, larger... But it remains one whole. The mystical and spiritual beauty of it is that neither of us exists outside of the whole of marriage. And yet, at the same time we are each a separately functioning whole. How do you describe it? You can't.

Perhaps dimensions would serve us better? We each brought a dimension into the relationship.

The marriage added another dimension. We each were separate lines. But is that fair to say? I don't think that we were only one dimensional before the relationship. Because separately we each had all that we needed to have in order to be all that we needed to be until the point when we joined in the relationship. Then we joined. Were we two lines that each brought a dimension and then marriage gave us the third?

No, that doesn't quite do it either.

Let's try music... Was I only notes on a page before I met my husband?

Was he the voice that gave sound to the notes?

No... It's more than that. Let me try again... Were we both notes on the page and marriage is the instrument that gave us sound? Or perhaps we were like separate keys on a piano that have the potential to harmonize beautifully together but only a skilled pianist can bring out the fullest sound. Is marriage that pianist? Was I a melody that was recognizable before but now, under the skilled fingers of marriage, I have become part of beautiful harmony? And if so, then who is marriage?...

And it breaks down again... Because my husband and I are the marriage. So how is it that we can be the marriage and yet at the same time need the marriage to bring out all that is there? I don't know. Words fail me.

We are separate and yet we are one... We are a part and yet we are a whole... We are intertwined so that one can not be defined without the other, and yet you who are looking on see us separately. My soul, the core of my being, is so tightly interwoven with my husband that I can not so much as take a breath without it affecting him and vice-versa.

And yet we don't share a soul. We are separate. We think differently. We reason differently. We act and react differently. We rejoice differently and we grieve differently. We are each responsible for our own choices. And yet every step that each of us takes, every choice that each of us makes, the other one of us feels and is affected by its consequences.

I am not a half. A half implies that it can be broken from the whole. I can't be broken from the whole. If death were to separate us, I would not revert back to the person I was before the marriage. The tapestry of my soul has the fabric of my husband woven right into it. It is not possible to remove him from the tapestry of my soul. Death can only do so much, but it lacks the power to destroy the tapestry.

Sometimes other tragedies happen in life. Sometimes, sadly, relationships end in divorce. But divorce can only do so much. It does not have the power to revert you back to the person you were before the relationship.

And yet, that person that I was before I joined the relationship is alive and well. But at the same time she is gone. How to explain it? I don't know. The person I was on the day my husband met me has, over the past 15 years, become a richer, fuller person. But at the same time my very soul has been altered by marriage so that I am no longer the person I used to be. How can this be? I have contributed to this marriage. But have I contributed to these changes in myself? I do not know.

I don't think I did this topic justice at all... My mind is still bursting with images and sounds. My soul is feeling what words have no power to express.

But this much I know... I am not a half.

Teaching Math on Planet Camazotz

2010-02-18T14:05:00.010-05:00

There really is a Planet Camazotz. Really, there is. I know this because I have been assigned to teach two math classes there for the next 10 weeks.

For those of you not familiar with Camazotz, the existence of this Planet was brought to our attention back in 1962 through the wonderful writings of Madeleine L'Engle. Her book, A Wrinkle in Time, took us on an unforgettable journey to Camazotz through the experiences of Charles Wallace, Meg and Calvin. If you have never read A Wrinkle in Time, I highly recommend it. If you have read it, read it again. It's a book you never outgrow.

Like Camazotz, the college where I will be teaching for the next 10 weeks was not always like this. In the past, things were different. But "the darkness" has finally covered the college. The teachers there in the math department are finally under the control of "It". No, "It" is not Internet Technology. Oh, if only it were so. How different things would be. But alas, "It" is actually the paralyzing fear of technology. Recently technology showed itself as an opportunity to make learning more engaging and enjoyable. But alas, it was a stranger on a Planet already mostly covered by "the darkness". And so instead of being able to embrace the benefits of technology, the members of the math department ran back into their homes, stifling their screams of terror, and slammed the doors shut behind them. What resulted was a department that was far worse than what anyone could have possibly imagined. Because once you allow "the darkness" to completely surround you, and you believe the lies of "It", you become something worse than you were before with no hope of ever going back.

So for the next 10 weeks, we will be performing our teaching tasks in flawless synchronicity. We will all read off the same teleprompter script, teach the exact same lesson at the exact same time, and use the exact same pre-written quizzes and final exams with the exact same questions at the exact same moment. And most importantly, we will do all of this without any technology. A policy has now been instated that, at this time, no technology whatsoever is allowed to be used.

As with the residents of Camazotz, the math department faculty members have bought into this robotic routine hook, line and sinker. As in the land of Camazotz, they pride themselves on how well they can perform these tasks that look so real, and yet are so lifeless. They do not realize that it is a heartless routine that is being performed and not really they themselves that are teaching. Much in the same way that the residents of Camazotz did not know what living really was, so the math department faculty members have lost sight of the fact that teaching can be so much more than this.

And me? Yes, I'm going along for the ride also. I know, I know. It lacks integrity. But recall how on Planet Camazotz the success of "It" came only after he had exhausted his victims. Remember how in the beginning they tried to resist by speaking in a different rhythm? Remember how you could remain truly human only for as long as you did not get caught in the cadence of the Planet around you? Well, I tried. I tried very hard. For a while I spoke in a different rhythm in an attempt to allow those around me to see that great enjoyment in teaching can be found in the variety that technology has to offer. I tried a unique cadence; one that offered hope by trusting the teacher and the students together to find a unique rhythm for each class. But the lifeless, synchronous arguments around me proved to be too much for me. And at last I too fell exhausted in the clutches of "It". I have no resistance left. So I printed out my script and my pre-written quizzes and tests. I am looking forward to the next 10 weeks with dread. But at least I'll get out alive. Or at least that was what was indicated to me if I could manage to keep my mouth shut. We shall see...

Oh well, look at it this way: At least I know exactly what tests to teach to.

Google: The Filene's Basement of the Internet

2010-02-11T12:34:00.019-05:00

Filene's Basement at Downtown Crossing in Boston. Nothing like it in the world!

There's really no amount of explaining that could do it justice. You just would have had to experience it for yourself. (Sort of like using Google products)

The sights, the smells, the crowds, the sound of the subway rumbling just a few feet away, the excitement of Boston... It was all there. But the store itself... Oh! The store itself! What a wonder! You could find anything there. (Sort of like using Google search engine) And it was all top quality stuff. And with the right amount of patience combined with shopping savvy, you could get a bargain of a lifetime - only there you could find one every week. Take a look here to get a history of Filene's Basement and a feel for the place...

But along with the high quality items at low, low prices came the chaos for which Filene's Basement was famous. There's really no explaining that either. You would have had to experience it to understand. (Sort of like trying to get a handle on Google Wave)

But perhaps to give you an idea of why it was such a popular place, let me tell you a story:

I got married in 1994. At the time it was not unusual for women to be spending a couple of thousand dollars on a wedding gown. However, you did have the option of going "cheap". There were places you could still get a gown for "only" $800 - $900. Well, (as those who know me well can testify) I'm not big on the idea of spending $1000 for something that will be used for only two or three hours. So I went to Filene's Basement in search of a wedding gown. I found one. It was a beautiful, winter white, velour gown with a short train. It originally cost $750. I paid $25 for it. Correct, I said $25. Got the idea? Actually I ended up buying two gowns. The second one was a gorgeous satin gown decorated with beautiful lace and sequins. I paid $25 for the second one also. Correct, I said $50 total for two wedding gowns. Now no one needs two wedding gowns. I bought two because the first one was sort of plain, so I bought a second one that was decorated rather fancy. Then a friend of mine, who was a seamstress, took some of the decorations off the second gown and sewed them onto the first gown. Oh, and while I was at "The Basement" with my maid of honor, she found her gown for $50. And we took some more of the decorations off of the second wedding gown I bought and also decorated her gown with them. So there you have it. The bride and her attendant attired in beautiful gowns for a grand total of $100. So now you understand why people went to Filene's Basement.

And it wasn't just wedding gowns. You could buy fabulous men's suits there, women's suits and dresses, casual attire, undergarments, household items.... Anything, and I mean anything, could be found in the "The Basement". (Sort of like using Google)

So if you didn't mind the ride on the subway to get there, it was easy enough to find.

But once there, the chaos began. (Sort of like trying to figure out Google products, or getting a Wave invitation) First there were the crowds. In addition to the serious shoppers who went there, Filene's Basement was also a tourist attraction. People came from all over the world to shop in Filene's Basement.

So for one reason or another everyone made their way there. (Sort of like Google's popularity) Some people loved it right from the minute they stepped in the door. (Sort of like Google) Others went there because they had been brought up going there.(Sort of like today's Digital Natives) For others, like me, it took some getting used to. (Kind of like the experience I'm having with Google products) But it only took you getting hooked in once, and you were an addict. Once you experienced Filene's Basement and found it satisfying, you went again and again. (Sort of like Google fans)

But there were some downsides. As I mentioned there was always the chaos. Then there was the biggest issue; No Privacy Whatsoever! None! (This would be where Google Buzz hits the scene) You went to Filene's Basement for practicality, not privacy. There were no dressing rooms there. So we would strip down to our underwear in the aisles. Correct. That is exactly what I said. If you wanted what Filene's Basement had to offer, you put privacy aside and, in front of hundreds of people, you stripped down to your underwear and showed the world what you owned. (Sort of like having Google Buzz in your email) Hey, you want a $40 bra for $3? Gotta try it on, right? Want to know if that dress fits just right for that special occasion? Gotta try it on, right? Everyone did it and no one thought anything of it. (Sort of like today's Digital Natives) In "The Basement" all bets were off. (Sort of like living in a digital world) Want to know how that $800 wedding gown looks on you? For a $25 bargain, believe me, you didn't mind taking off your clothes. Heck, we even stood half naked in the aisles and held up signs of what size we were looking for in case someone else nearby had found it first!

Most people didn't pay any attention. Half the time they were standing there naked too. (Sort of like the people who have no idea how much information is out there about them and how easily accessible it is - mostly thanks to Google) So hey, what are they gonna be looking at? For the most part, it really wasn't a problem. But back in the days when there were only stairs and no escalators that went into "The Basement", it was a popular pass time for some people to hang out on their lunch hour on the steps and get an eyeful. (Kind of like digital stalkers) But, oh well, it was just all part of the Filene's Basement experience.

I haven't been to Filene's Basement for years now. Actually, I'm not sure if the Downtown Crossing store is even there any more. They had closed it for a while because of renovations being done to the above ground area, and I'm not sure that it ever opened again. (Anyone reading this know that? Let me know.) But the memories are priceless. Thanks, Google, for reminding me.

And thanks to Google, I found all the images in this post.

Ode To The Driving Instrutor (since they are teachers too)

2010-02-09T09:28:00.005-05:00

Feet pumping an imaginary brake, and knuckles always white;
Surely there is more to life than gripping dashboards tight.

I should have listened to my friends when they said, “Teach a computer class”.
Instead I’m stuck here in this car just sitting on my ass.

I could have clicked a mouse all day, or typed my fingers on the keys,
Showing people how it’s done, while I talk “computerese”.

What I wouldn’t give right now for an office to go to,
Or perhaps sit in a faculty meeting, just munching on some food.

I glance up at the light beyond, “Look out”, I scream, “It’ Red!”
But this kid just keeps talking on about getting his girlfriend into bed.

I say “Don’t forget your blinker”, and I motion with my hand.
(All this teenage talk of sex is more than I can stand.)

I slam my foot down on the floor for the one hundredth time today.
But alas, the brake is on his side, much to my dismay.

My poor feet! They are so tense from pushing the floor all day.
I knew I should have followed my dreams and taken up ballet.
Or gymnastics – yes, that’s it! Or maybe I’ll play pool.
My hands deserve some better task than steering for this fool.

Now he’s telling me about the first time he smoked grass.
I roll my eyes, shake my head and say, “Just focus on your task”

I dare not close my tired eyes or unclench my aching fist.
I’m going to have a heart attack – this kid makes me so pissed!
(How did my dearest dreams and I separate so far?
My hopes and goals of childhood never included sitting in this car!)

He says, “I’m gonna get my nipple pierced”, and jerks the car into a swerve.
“And then my nose”. He smiles and winks as he straightens out a curve.

Finally the lesson is over, though I’m shaken to the core.
He pulls the car into the drive, jumps out and slams the door.
I shake my head and wring my hands, my foot begins to tap.
Why do I do this for a living? Why do I take this crap?

The driving part may be over but the worst is yet to come.
Sighing I follow him to the front door – cause this jerk is my son!

~Carolyn Fish~

17 Syllables

2010-02-06T17:36:00.005-05:00

Do 17 Syllables really have the power and ability to tell a whole story? Consider the following:

our paths briefly crossed
my life forever altered
you just kept walking

In thinking about the above haiku, I thought about how much I could have said, and yet, at the same time, I don't think I could have ever said it all. If I were to write about the conversations and interactions that I hold in my memory and to which I referred in line 1, it would take pages. If I were to try to sit down and write an explanation of the insight, perspective, emotion and feeling that is being expressed in line 2, it would be virtually impossible. If I were to try to write about the circumstances, tears and disappointment that is being expressed in the few short syllables of line 3, I don't think I could do it. And obviously I don't need to. Apparently, in 17 syllables, the story was told well enough that others understood exactly what I said - or perhaps I should say they understood exactly what I chose not to say.

Although it does not fit all the rules for true haiku that a haiku master would follow, sometimes I use a 5/7/5 haiku format to express a thought when I am on twitter because it fits nicely into the 140 character limit. Often I participate in the daily twitter haiku challenge. Sometimes I just use haiku for my own expression of thought. I decided to put this one out on my blog since it got a lot of re-tweets when I put it out there on twitter. It also got a really sweet compliment from @olehmannf who said that it was, in his opinion, the best haiku he read this past week. So that, of course, made me feel good.

It is an interesting exercise to attempt to fit an entire conversation worth of thoughts into 17 syllables. I think about how I can convey feelings and experiences into three short lines. Furthermore, twitter is a conversation that can be read by anyone in the world. Therefore, if you choose to express something personal, it must be vague enough so that you are not revealing any details, and at the same time powerful enough to get a message across. It says something about yourself, and yet it lacks particulars. It is an expression of your own experiences, and at the same time it says something that anyone else reading it can understand and relate to. Every once in a while I put a haiku out there that gets a lot of re-tweets and I know that what I said in those 17 short syllables is resonating with other people. Don't be deceived by the brevity of the 17 syllables; it's harder than it looks.

I sometimes use writing as a catharsis, although I do less of it now than I used to. Sometimes my writing takes the form of poetry. Other times I sit down and write my thoughts in story form. Sometimes I just write down what I am thinking about to see if the thoughts in my head can be expressed in a way that would work on paper. But all of that writing is for me. I keep it under lock and key. On very rare occasions small pieces and parts of it have seen the light of day. On the other hand, hours of writing have been known to get tossed in the fire because when I read back over it later, I don't like what I said or thought. Sometimes I use this blog as a place to express and process my thoughts. But a blog is a conversation that can potentially be read by the whole world (although I doubt this blog is in any danger of that), so that limits what I choose to say.

There certainly are times when brevity trumps length. Had I chosen to say more than just these 17 syllables, this would have been only my story. By choosing brevity, in this particular case, I allowed it to be everyone's story. Everyone has had someone in his/her life that can fit into those three lines. In this particular instance, giving others room to fill in their own details is what gave life to these 17 syllables.

Lockdown!

2010-01-27T17:54:00.002-05:00

Monday Jan 25, 2:25 PM. My cell phone rang. I looked at the clock. Dismissal time. I figured my oldest daughter was calling to ask me to give her a ride home from school. I grabbed my phone, but the incoming number said "unavailable". I don't normally pick up incoming calls that say "unavailable". But since it was dismissal time I picked it up figuring that perhaps my daughter had lost her cell phone or something, and she was using another phone to call. When I opened the phone and put it to my ear, I heard that short second of silence that lets you know that you are receiving an automated call. Annoyed, I almost closed it again. However, the voice started, "This is ... Middle School. It is Monday Jan 25. We are calling to inform you that the school is in Lockdown".

My stomach flipped. This was already the second time this month that the school had to go into lockdown.

The call continued, "No one may enter or exit the building. Due to the timing of the incident, we will not be dismissing students at this time. There will be a late dismissal. Please press 1 to confirm that you received this message."

I pressed 1 and hung up.

Since I am both a parent and a teacher, perhaps I got a double dose of panic. But images of both Columbine and Virginia Tech planted themselves firmly in the front of my mind.

"Take it easy" I said to myself, "Statistics are on your side."

True, it's a fairly good size school, lots of classrooms and hallways. The likelihood of my child being in a problem spot was very small.

Nevertheless, this was already the second time in a couple of weeks. The first time there had been a weapons threat. This time I didn't know what to expect.

Furthermore, the middle school that my oldest attends shares a campus with the elementary school. Therefore, all three of my kids are on the same campus. Any lockdown at the middle school also sends the elementary school into lockdown. Any threat to the middle school potentially poses a threat to the elementary school also.

I held my breath for half an hour waiting to see if they would allow the elementary students to leave at 3:00. No phone call at 3:00. Good. That meant that the elementary kids should be leaving their building and getting on their buses. 3:20 PM my two elementary school kids got off the bus at the house. Big sigh of relief! However, still no word from my oldest. I kept an eye on the clock. Every minute felt like an hour. 3:39 PM my cell phone rang. I grabbed it and looked at the incoming number. Relief! It was my daughter.

My kids, of course, know nothing of Columbine. And the words "Virginia Tech" mean nothing to them. We have never talked about those incidents in front of the kids. However, we did have quite a bit of conversation about the events at the middle school that evening after everyone was home.

To my two younger kids it's just an inconvenience. While the elementary school kids were not allowed to leave their building, they were free to move about the building.

However, in the middle school, since that is where the threat was made, as soon as lockdown is initiated everything comes to a halt. Wherever you are, you sit down and don't move again until lockdown is lifted.

But this time it was more. The first time the middle school kids were allowed to continue to use the computers. Not the second time. The first time the premises were thoroughly searched. The second time was more extensive. In addition to searching all lockers and all rooms, this time all students were patted down, shoes off, and every inch of every bag, purse and pencil boxes were searched. And absolutely no computers in use the entire time.

*****************************

Tuesday afternoon 2:25 PM. My cell phone rang. I picked it up and looked at the incoming number: "unavailable". My heart stopped. I opened the phone and put it to my ear.

"This is ... Middle School calling. It is Tuesday Jan 26. The school is in lockdown. No one may enter or exit the building."

Any semblance of logic that I have disappeared. Severe panic took over.

".... late dismissal....."

That's it?? No 'press 1 to confirm that you have received this call'??

What is going on?? The third time this month, and the second time in two days!! And this time the automated message didn't even take the time to tell me to confirm that I had heard the message??

Ok, now I'm scared. Really scared.

3:00 PM. No phone call from the elementary school. Good. Hopefully they are allowing students to leave the building and get on buses.

3:17 PM. My two younger kids get off the bus at the house. Big sigh of relief!

Still no word from my oldest.

3:34 PM. My cell phone rings. The incoming number is my daughter. Thank God!

More conversation that night with everyone, especially my oldest.

What do I say? How do I refrain from communicating my own sense of panic? How do I tell my oldest child that her peers are capable of such serious and deadly crimes? How do I acknowledge that, yes, middle school can be a dangerous place. How do I say that without making her live in unnecessary fear?

***************************

Wednesday Jan 27. I resisted the urge to keep my oldest home from school. 8:00 AM. I dropped her off in front of the middle school. 1:25 PM. Early dismissal time. My cell phone rings. The incoming number is my daughter. She wants a ride home. I breathe a sigh of relief.

"How did it go today?" I ask as she gets in the car.

"We can't leave our classrooms unless we sign out and get a pass. Only one bathroom in the building is open now. A teacher guards the bathroom. There is a table set up in front of the bathroom and you have to sign in when you go into the bathroom and you have to sign out when you come out of the bathroom. Then we have to sign back into our classroom when we come back in the room. We need a separate pass to go get a drink of water."

I sighed.

"Yeah" she said.

She got it. She's pretty smart sometimes when it comes to understanding what doesn't get said.

Welcome to Wide Reading (Just Don't Bring Your Kindle or Your Laptop!)

2010-01-19T20:16:00.007-05:00

At the middle school my daughter attends, there is a program called "Wide Reading". Four times a week, for 35 minutes at a designated time during the school day, all students have to read. If you are in grades 7 or 8, you may choose to attend a school club instead during that time period (6th graders don't have that option). Otherwise you are required to read.

I think this is great. I've always loved reading. My husband loves reading. All three of my kids love reading. We encourage the kids to read as much as they can.

So far, so good.

Here's the catch: No computers allowed (every student in the jr high has a laptop), no online research allowed during this time, no Kindles (or similar item) allowed. NONE! Absolutely not! Not even open for discussion.

Is it just me, or is there something wrong with that kind of thinking in the year 2010??

Now I personally do a lot of reading. On some days the truth may be closer to "skimming", but nevertheless, I find myself doing a lot of reading. Most of the reading I do these days is in the form of links that have been sent to me from all of the wonderful educators I follow on Twitter. I also follow @COSMOSmagazine and @MATH_SCIENCE along with others which provide me with interesting articles about things happening in the world of science and mathematics. I follow @timeshighered and @chronicle which supply me with a good amount of articles related to higher education. I follow @themainemag which keeps me up on things happening around Maine. I follow @DayTripNation and @visitmaine which gives me ideas for places to take day trips and where to vacation. These are just a few examples of reading material that comes to me via twitter. I also read blogs. I read different types of blogs: some educators, some just for fun. But whatever the case may be, I read a lot of interesting things, I gain a lot of insights, I learn a lot of information. Sometimes I comment, often I don't. But even if I don't comment, I usually think for a while about what I read and whether or not I agree, whether or not it helped me learn something or if it changed my perspective about anything. Many times I will read through the comments on the blogs. That allows me to hear other people's thoughts and responses, and it makes me think further about what I just read. Sometimes I read blogs that are funny or entertaining, and it improves my mood or makes me laugh.

Sometimes I need to find out some information about a topic that is completely new to me. So I head over to my computer. I may send a tweet asking for suggested reading material. But more likely, I just start searching online. I try to sort through the information responsibly, and make sure that I'm reading accurate information and not some whacked-out ideas. But usually I have pretty good luck finding information. After that I sometimes will email a friend or colleague who knows something about the topic in question, and send them the links I just read and ask them what they think. I may get back an email with more links or more information.

Yes, I definitely do a lot of reading.

Sometimes I read a book; a good old-fashioned print-on-paper book. I love those. But I don't read them as much any more. I would have to say that these days the majority of my reading is online.

I don't yet own a Kindle, or similar item. I have not yet downloaded an entire book and read it on a computer screen. I still like the idea of sitting down with a print-on-paper book and reading through it a little at a time, going back over some of the pages, and, yes, sometimes falling asleep with my nose in the book. If I am reading an online article that is extremely long, I sometimes print it out so that I can read it a little at a time, underline things, make notes in the margin, and write questions to myself about things I want to research further. However, it does not have to be print-on-paper in order to qualify as reading!

Yes, I definitely do a lot of reading - mostly online.

So what to think of a "Wide Reading" program that only allows you to read print-on-paper books?

Now I understand that jr high school students might try to get on facebook or other social networking sites and waste time. They might try to get to material they shouldn't be reading. They might not really be "researching" when they should be. Yes I know you have to corral them in sometimes and peek over their shoulder. I know that because I'm a parent. But really now, that is NO reason to define reading as print-on-paper books only! No reason at all!!

"Can't you use your laptop to do research during that time?" I asked my daughter. "After all, that's reading."

"Nope".

"Can't you read online articles related to something you're studying in one of your classes?"

"Nope".

"What if the student owns a Kindle", I asked.

"Nope."

"So it's only considered reading if you are holding a paper book in your hand?"

"Yep"

"What if a student doesn't have a book with them?"

"The teachers always have extras."

I roll my eyes....

It's 2010. We must define "reading" as more than just print-on-paper books!

Memorization vs Information Mining In the Digital Age

2010-01-18T13:42:00.004-05:00

I am currently reading The Dumbest Generation by Mark Bauerlein. (I know, I know, the book is already a couple of years old and I'm first getting around to reading it. Oh well.) I'm only in chapter 1, and I already don't like it. However, I will keep reading. Perhaps I'll blog again when I'm finished.

In the meantime here is a question for you:
If your life depended on it, would you rather rely on your memory or your ability to mine information?

In other words, let's assume that for some bizarre reason, your life was at stake, and the only way you would be able to save it is if you could successfully name off all the countries in South America and their corresponding capital cities. You then would be given two choices: 1. Start listing them off from memory or 2. Find them on the computer. You must choose one or the other of those methods and you only get one shot.

Obviously, it's not even up for discussion. Only a fool would choose their memory. And he would soon be a dead fool at that.

Ok, so every capital city of every South American country may seem a little unnecessary to commit to memory.

How about Reconstruction? Shall I expect every American I ever meet to be able to define Reconstruction, give me a brief, one page synopsis, and then explain some of the factors that led to the North abandoning its commitment to Reconstruction?

Oh, I can hear it now, especially from History majors and Civil War buffs. "Yes! Yes!", you scream. "Every American should know that!! It should be committed to memory! You should, on a moments notice, be able to spout off quotes from every author who ever wrote a book on the subject. You should understand the impact of Reconstruction on American society from the mid 1860's up through the mid 20th century and beyond!"

Really now, should I know all that off the top of my head?

Ok, how about something a little more current? Should I be able to name all of the Supreme Court Justices? How about the President of Russia?

Oh I can hear it now. "Yes. Yes. Everyone should know that".

Really now? Should they?

"Of course they should! How will they ever be productive, responsible American citizens without that basic knowledge?"

Really now?

So some more questions for you: Do you know what Congressional District you live in? Can you name the Mayor of your city? Do you know where the phrase "separation of church and state" originated? Can you recite the 4th Amendment?

Excellent! Good for you. Here's your gold star. You may go to the head of the class.

What if I were someone who could not answer all (or any) of those questions off the top of my head. But what if I know how and where to find accurate and reliable information online? What if I could access more information online in five minutes than any university full of professors and college students combined could hold in their heads? Is that ok? I think so.

However, for those of you who still believe that Memory trumps Mining, here are some more questions for you:
1. Do you know the percent of high school students in your school district that are active users of illegal drugs?
2. Do you know how many babies are born each year in your city to mothers who are actively using?
3. Do you know what percentage of the people in your city live below the poverty level? In your State?
4. Do you know the estimated percent of young girls (elementary school age) in America today who are being forced to have sex with drug dealers as an arrangement by a parent who doesn't have cash to pay for heroin?
5. Do you know the estimated number of people world wide who are subject to human trafficking and slave trade each year?
6. Do you know what's been happening in the Darfur region lately? (More info here.) Rwanda? The Congo?

Just wondering, that's all.

Here is what I have observed about people who place a very high value on memorizing facts. You memorize what is important to you. And then, unfortunately, you try to pretend that any information you don't have memorized isn't worth knowing. Guess what, you're wrong. And our young people today can see right through you. What they understand is that memorizing doesn't make you intelligent, and it never has. It just makes you a good memorizer. Memorizing facts does not in any way ensure that you can do anything worthwhile with that information. Memorizing historical facts does not in any way mean that you care about the present or want to change the future for the better.

Furthermore, it's the internet age. How about we have a little respect for people who are good at Information Mining, even if they aren't so good at memorizing.

So next time I want to know something about my world, either close to home or abroad, I think I'll do some Information Mining. If I can't find it, I think I'll go ask one of my students. Chances are, they'll be able to help me search.

Orthogonality vs Current Reality (A Mid-Life Math Crisis Part 3)

2010-01-16T12:18:00.004-05:00

Problem 1: This is Orthogonality: (general formulation and web site here)

Problem 2: This is Current Reality: (additional video and pictures here)

Which of these two problems would you like to be able to say you can solve?

So what do orthogonality and current reality have to do with one another?

Nothing. Correct. That's what I said. Absolutely nothing.

So what's with the orthogonality?

Yesterday I was reading this article because the link had been sent via twitter from someone I follow. Apparently the Supreme Court Justices don't know the meaning of the word "orthogonal".

Wow, that's a real shame!

Exactly. Not a single person reading this thought that, did you?

No, you didn't.

Why is that?

I'll tell you why. Because while it's a pretty little word, knowing the definition of "orthogonal" doesn't mean you're making a bit of difference in your world.

Head back over to the "orthogonal" article for a minute. Be sure to take a look through the comments!! Notice especially the response from Stas Peterson: apparently this person thinks some Lawyers are morons because they don't know the definition of "orthogonal". Mmmmmmm..... Really now, people, come on. While I enjoy the negative stereotypes and jokes about lawyers as much as the next person, let's be honest here. For whatever their faults may be, not knowing the definition of the word "orthogonal" isn't one of them! I noticed that the non-lawyer population got a few good jabs for being morons also. Mmmmm. After all, who doesn't use the word "orthogonal" every day? Why I was just saying to my neighbor this morning, "I failed to eschew an ice patch yesterday resulting in my compromising my orthogonal position in relation to the terra firma". I mean doesn't everyone go around talking like that?

Math professors, and others of great academic and intellectual accomplishments and extensive (albeit generally unnecessary) vocabulary, have you nothing better to do for your world than take pride in the fact that you know the meaning of the word orthogonal???

You are making me embarrassed to be a math teacher!! People are dead and dying in Haiti, as well as so many other tragedies going on in the world today, and you're puffing out your chest because you know the definition of "orthogonal"???

Get on your knees and confess your sin of arrogance! Then while you're there, start praying for the things that really matter in your world.

A Mid-Life Math Crisis Part 1: click here

A Mid-Life Math Crisis Part 2: click here

Math: The Class No One Wants To Take (A Mid-Life Math Crisis Part 2)

2010-01-13T19:52:00.004-05:00

If you would like to read Part 1, click here.

So I'm a college math teacher. Yep, the class no one wants to take. That would be the one. Wow, I'm feeling good about myself already. Now granted, there are a few people out there (for instance, myself, 25 years ago) who willingly sign up for college math classes. But let's face it, those people are a small minority. The majority of the students who find themselves in a college math class are there because it's a requirement for graduation. Or, in the case of developmental level math classes, the student didn't score high enough on the Accuplacer or the SATs to place into a 100 level (or higher) math class, so s/he has to take a math class for which s/he is not even getting any credits toward graduation. Now in this latter scenario, although I fail to see how this could possibly be my fault, I often notice that the student comes into the class resenting me, the teacher. Why is that?

I've also noticed that many students come into college math classes with the attitude that this is the least important thing they will ever do. Even decent students have that attitude. I don't understand it. I've had students in my math classes that I know are capable individuals and catch on pretty quickly. They don't have a problem understanding the material. And with a little bit of effort, they could likely pull off an A in the class. However, they are perfectly happy to do just enough to get out of math class with a C. In any other class they would be appalled and/or embarrassed to get a C for a grade. But they are perfectly fine with it - no actually they are quite happy with it - if it is a C in math class. Why is that? It seems to me that somewhere along the line in their educational experience there was an unspoken arrangement that math was "hard" and if you could get a C in a math class then you were doing really well! And why argue with that? I mean seriously, if no one is going to question a C, why not do the bare minimum and just get by with a C? So why does it bother me that my potential A students are happy with a C? Shouldn't it bother the student? Actually, what bothers me is that it doesn't bother the student. In fact, I have students that are happy to do just barely enough to pass with a D. They figure that if it isn't a pre-requisite for anything, and they don't have to worry about transferring the credits, then a 63% will do the trick - after all it's passing. What????? Where is this attitude coming from??

Now don't misunderstand me. I have legitimate learners in my classes, and I have students that put out a lot of effort and I have students that strive to get the best grade they can get. But they are a minority.

Somewhere along the line in the 12 or 13 years of education before these students get to me, they have acquired this attitude. Does it have anything to do with the emphasis placed on reading in schools but hardly anything is said about math? I don't know. I have three kids in elementary and middle school. All I've heard about for the past 7 years is "DEAR", "wide-Read", etc. I haven't heard a thing about a program called "Drop Everything And Math". I haven't heard a thing about "wide-Math". In fact, I don't think I've heard the word math at all when it comes to focus areas and special programs. Interesting. I do know that 2 out of my 3 kids have scored very high on the Raven test, for whatever that's worth. The school administers these tests twice during the elementary school years, once during jr high school and once during high school. Apparently the school now considers two of my kids "gifted and talented", and they go to something during the week that emphasizes math. Wow, so about a dozen kids a week are considered "gifted and talented" enough to be part of a program where they spend extra time focusing on math? Ridiculous! I mean I think it's great that my kids got high scores on the Ravens and all that jazz, but really now, I know for a fact that my kids and a handful of others are not the only students out there that are capable of doing math!

Incidentally, I feel compelled to be honest and let you know that I took the Raven test a few years ago. At the time I was working part time in the "Gifted and Talented" program so I decided to take the Raven just for laughs. And sure enough, what a laugh it was. In order to qualify for the "gifted and talented" program, your score is compared to others in your age group. Since we were testing only up through grade 10, I scored myself against the 16 year old age range. For the record, I didn't score high enough to be considered "gifted and talented". (And my undergraduate degree is in Mathematics. And I graduated with a 3.6 GPA back in the day when I did my undergraduate degree.) In other words, had I been a student, I would have lost out on the opportunity to participate in extra time during the week that focused on additional, higher than grade level math activities intended to further enhance a student's math skills. Interesting. Oh, and I must also admit to the following: my husband, who has a BA and an MA in History, and half of an M.Ed, outscored me by a noticeable margin. He would have been more than qualified for the "gifted and talented" program and would have been encouraged to pursue additional math classes and educational opportunities in the area of mathematics. Needless to say, I am not convinced that the Raven alone should be determining who has mathematical potential. As my husband frequently likes to say, "I have a History degree, I work in IT and program computers for a living, and the most useful course I ever took in college was my horticulture class". Well that about sums it up nicely, doesn't it?

But surely I digress....

The point here, I guess, is that I do believe that many students have the potential to do quite well in math classes that I teach. Currently I am teaching developmental classes and College Algebra classes. Those are classes that are well within the capabilities of every student who finds himself there. Not everyone is an A student in math. But I do believe that many more are A students than the grades would indicate. I believe it with all my heart. And my style of teaching and my willingness to help my students reflects what I believe. The students still refuse to believe it themselves. Or perhaps they are afraid that I might expect something of them if they believe it themselves. It is hard to say. But I do know that, sadly, by the time they get to me, they are 12 or 13 years into some seriously low expectations of their capabilities in a math class.

If you would like to read A Mid-Life Math Crisis Part 3: click here

A Mid-Life Math Crisis Part 1

2010-01-12T12:03:00.004-05:00

Yes, there really is such a thing. I know because I'm having one. Actually, I'm not sure the "crisis" is that new, nor is it happening due to my now "mid-life" status. But it's one that's really bugging me at the moment.

So imagine... You're at a family get together. You know, those things you attend once a year or so when you get to see all the extended family together in one place, talk about what you've been doing over the past year, who has gotten married, divorced, had a kid, graduated college, etc. The conversation tends to go something like this:

Carolyn: "So what have you been doing for work lately?"

Relative 1: "Oh, I'm still in my own practice. I'm starting the fourth year now. But I'm investigating Doctors Without Borders and similar organizations. I'm wondering what I can do to be involved in organizations like that."

Carolyn: "Oh good to hear."

Relative 2: "I finally finished up the last of the classes I needed. I passed the Patent Bar exam and everything. So now I'm working on intellectual property and patent law in the bio-medical research field."

Carolyn: "Wow, what types of things do you specifically deal with?"

Relative 2: "Patents on various medications. One of the most recent cases involved a medication for Rheumatoid arthritis"

Carolyn: "Sounds like an interesting job"

Relative 3: "I just got back from a year in Haiti. We were working with an orphanage there and at the same time we were also involved in a project to get clean drinking water to a village. It's incredible when you see some of the devastating conditions the rest of the world lives in. It is so wonderful when you have an opportunity to affect the daily lives of people in such a positive way."

Carolyn: "That sounds wonderful"

Relative 4: "So, how about you Carolyn, what are you doing these days?"

Carolyn: "I still work part time teaching college math classes at a couple of different local colleges."

Dead silence.

Carolyn: "Yeah, it's really neat. I just finished teaching my students how to graph Logarithmic Functions!"

Dead silence.

Carolyn: "Yeah, did you know that every exponential function has a horizontal asymptote? It's so interesting. In fact, the function f(x) = a ^ x for 0 < a < 1 has a y-intercept of (0,1)? Furthermore, any transformation of an exponential function can be called an exponential function also!"

Dead silence.

Relative 3 (in an attempt to recover the conversation back to something worthwhile): "I've been really burdened lately about the reality and horror of the extent of human trafficking and sex slave trade that currently exists in the world today. Now that the clean drinking water project in Haiti is completed, I'm going to focus my efforts on getting connected to an organization that actively is involved in stopping human trafficking around the globe. I think I'd like to work with something like that for a while to better the life of all humanity."

Ok, so maybe it's not really that bad. First of all, if I'm asked, I just usually say that I teach math classes part time at a couple of colleges, and I leave it at that. If I do talk about it further, I talk about amusing things that have happened in the classroom or interesting, or sometimes infamous, students that I have met.

And no, I don't have an entire extended family full of people who are all trotting around the globe involved in Doctors without Borders, Ending Human Trafficking, or Clean Drinking Water in Third World Countries projects. But I do know some of those people. And I know that they didn't need a math degree to make a difference. By their own admission they likely could not pass a College Algebra final if I handed one to them. Do these people ever worry about the equation of a hyperbola that is not in standard form? I doubt it. Do they know that not every function has an inverse function? Probably not. But they are making a difference. They are changing lives. When they leave a village in Haiti knowing that for the first time ever the people there will have access to clean drinking water, is that a good feeling? You bet! When one of my students can correctly find the domain for f(x) = (x-3) / (x - 1) is that a good feeling? Not so much.

To be continued...

Click here for Part 2

Creating God In Our Image(or not all functions have an inverse that is also a function)

2010-01-04T11:34:00.002-05:00

No, this isn't going to be a math lesson. But for the sake of the point I'm going to make here, think about it for a minute. Not all functions have an inverse that is also a function. On a very simplistic level, (and math teachers will have to forgive the extremely abridged explanation here - but it's for the sake of argument) you can think of an inverse as "reversing the roles of x and y". In math, when you do that, the interesting thing is that you will get an image, but you won't always get a function. Or you could say that the new image may not be something that will pass the "vertical line test"; or perhaps you could say (although you wouldn't necessarily put it this way in a math class), "it just doesn't function".

And so is the case when we attempt to "inverse" the "function" of creation.

Genesis 1:27 "So God created man in His own image... male and female He created them."

No, this isn't going to be a theological dissertation. And I am not here to argue whether or not the Genesis account is literal or allegorical. There are thousands of books written over millennia that have done that already. Refer to one of those for an in-depth study on that topic. However, so that you do understand my position in this blog post, I do believe that man was created in the image of God. I do believe that I have a Creator and I do believe that I was created to reflect the image of that Creator.

This function of man created in the image of God is a function that only works in one direction. It was only meant to function when going from God to us. But in our arrogance, we attempt to inverse the function. We are always determined to create God in our image. We take our limited ideas and understanding, our flawed and prejudice thinking, our own ideas about right and wrong and justice and our cultural influences, and we attempt to create God. And in so doing, it is true that we do get an image. But the resulting image that we get does not pass the "vertical line test". See the problem?

In my mind, this problem has only one solution. Look at the original equation. Study the original function only. Graph the original function if you want to know what it looks like. Understand the beauty in how it works. See for yourself how it passes the "vertical line test".

Now enter another problem: I also believe in sin. And I believe that whatever original beauty the image once had, it has now been marred.

The way that I think about it in my mind is similar to looking at a photograph of someone I know. If you took a black marker and drew an X across the face, I would likely still recognize the person. Likely I would still know whose image it was. I would still be able to see some features. But the image would be, to one degree or another, ruined.

That is how I look at humans. I do believe that there is the image of God stamped on us. I believe that it is something about our "essence". I know that sounds mystical, and perhaps it is. But I believe all humans carry that stamp. And when we truly see one another's "essence", we see something of God. Unfortunately, I also believe that we all have a big X drawn across us. I believe it is sin. And it prevents us from reflecting the image of God in a completely accurate manner. You might even argue that it is very difficult to see God in us at all anymore. Perhaps that's true. But it is still there.

Exodus 20:4 "You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below."

Now, go back to the example of the ruined photograph for a moment. Let's say that you handed me that ruined photograph and told me that from that picture, you would like me to create a picture of what the original looked like. Ahhh, we now have a problem. And depending on how ruined the photograph is, we may have a very big problem.

So let's say I give it a try... No need to expound on that further, we all see what the problem would be. But we do it anyway. And in so doing, I believe we break the second commandment. No, we may not have physical representations that we worship. But yes, we do create an "image" or of God, or an "idol". And often we do a very bad job of it.

The solution? First, get rid of the idol. I know we all hold our image that we've created very dear. It is our nature to do so. But it has to go. Then look at the nature of the original. Study it. Consider it. See what the Original has to say about Himself. Appreciate that we are the reflection and not the original. And don't try to reverse the roles.

No Resolutions for the New Year?

2009-12-30T20:06:00.002-05:00

Well here we are again. It's that point where we look back at the previous year while at the same time determining to make some changes in the New Year. And as this year ends we are also looking back over another decade. Or if you are one of those people who likes to point out that the new decade doesn't technically start until 2011, then you won't be looking back over the past decade quite yet. But for the rest of us, come January 1, we'll be looking forward to the beginning of a new year and a new decade.

So what's the plan....?

I tend to be someone who is always assessing, considering, reviewing, planning. Be it January 31, July 31 or December 31, I am always thinking about where I've been and where I'm going. I've never been one to make "New Year's Resolutions", and I don't intend to start now. Instead I will simply continue on this journey that I have been on for 43 years. With each passing day I accumulate more data, live more experiences, acquire more knowledge, observe more circumstances, gain more insights. And each day as I do so, it shapes me more and more a little at a time.

It may be that there are times when it appears that abrupt changes occur. But in reality, those are extremely rare. The truth is that a lot of experiences (perhaps unseen by the casual observer) have combined with a lot of thought, feeling and processing of information. And when I get to a point where I think I sufficiently understand the situation, I make a move. It could be on June 30 as easily as on December 31. But it is almost always the result of a lot of forethought. So while the casual observer may see only the change, the very few people who know me well would know that there is a lot more to the story. (And then there's my abundance of stupidity and mistakes. But I'd prefer to not go there for now!)

Change is a process. It requires a combination of many factors. And it generally tends to go hand in hand with time.

Goals are good to have. But it is a good idea to assess them often. Are they wise? Do they realistically line up with where your life currently is? What will you have to sacrifice in order to achieve them? Is it worth it? Will they benefit your family? Will they help your marriage relationship? Do you have a Plan B?

And then, as we all know, there is something called Life. And Life can have a mind of its own. It doesn't always play by your rules. It doesn't always stick with the plan. Sometimes it shows up with unexpected bonuses. More likely it throws you a curve ball. And you're back to the drawing board. Life doesn't care if it's May 31, October 31 or December 31. Life happens.

So on December 31, 2010, it is unlikely that you will find me significantly thinner, noticeably richer or my myriad house projects somehow miraculously completed. But I do have a plan. I will continue to keep up with my walking, bike riding, hiking, swimming and snowshoeing (if we ever get a decent snow storm without rain mixed in). It is my husband's intention to continue to get up every morning and go to work as long as he has a job. And I will continue to work part time in education and part time in corporate. Therefore, my bills will continue to be paid, one month at a time, and my mortgage will be ever so slightly smaller next year at this time. We will likely have completed one or two of the things on our house projects list. I desire and pray that my marriage relationship will continue to grow deeper and that my relationship with my children will continue to grow stronger.

So do I have a plan? Yes, I guess I do. In the year 2010, with the help, strength, grace and mercy of God, I intend to stay the course.

An All-Purpose Holiday Greeting and New Year Blessing

2009-12-29T20:40:00.001-05:00

The following blog is not my own writing, although I wish I could say that I did write it since I find it a fantastic piece of writing. Several years ago we received this greeting from Dan Whiting, a friend of my husband's. (I do not know if he is the original author or not. So if you are reading this and you recognize it as your work, or you do know who the author is, please let me know!) My husband and I thoroughly enjoyed it, and every year since then I have been sending it out via email to all our friends. But this year I decided to post it on my blog. In the next few days I do want to write a bit more serious post as we reflect back on 2009 and look forward to 2010. But for now, enjoy the following in the humorous and light-hearted spirit in which it is given.

***************************************************************************

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my wish for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, politically correct, non-addictive, low stress, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, as well as the secular practices of your choice, but with full respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

And further, please accept my wish for a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2010, but not without due respect for the calendar of choice of other cultures whose contribution to our diverse society has helped make this country great (not to imply that USA is necessarily greater than any other country, and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, veteran status or sexual orientation of the wisher, wishee or their third party beneficiaries).

These wishes are limited to the customary and usual good tidings for a period of approximately one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first.

Note: By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal, and is revocable ab initio at the sole discretion of the wisher at any time, for any reason or for no reason.

This greeting is freely transferable provided that there is no alteration to the original greeting text. Any transfer is to be at the risk of the transferor who, by making such transfer, thereby agrees to hold the wishee harmless from any and all adverse consequences resulting from such transfer.

This greeting implies no promise by the wisher to actually take any action or fail to take any action to implement any of the wishes for the wishee her/himself or others, or responsibility for the consequences which may arise from the implementation or non-implementation of same.

This greeting is void where prohibited by law.

Broken Pipes (and other realities of life)

2009-12-22T11:25:00.005-05:00

Written by Carolyn
December 22, 2009
True story. Really. This is how we spent last evening:

Twas the week before Christmas and all through the house
I was rushing to clean up, with help from my spouse.
The laundry was piled from ceiling to floor
And piles of dirt were in front of the door.
The vacuum should really be run all around,
And other house cleaning tasks did abound.
But really for us this was all nothing new;
We're a five person family, there's plenty to do.
So in jeans and a sweat shirt, my hair all a mess,
I plowed on through the cleaning, doing my best.
I had just finished dishes, the stove was all clean,
I was ready to sit down with some hot herbal tea.

I pulled out the drain plug, breathed a sigh of relief,
When suddenly I saw water surrounding my feet!
I suddenly realized that waterfall sound
Was from under my cabinet! In dismay I looked down.
What I saw was a scene that caused me great stress,
Water was flowing out of my cabinet!

I screeched and I hollered, like that would have helped,
"There's water all over the floor", I did yell.
I grabbed at some towels by the washing machine,
(Good thing that not all of the laundry was clean!),
I reached for the cabinet and opened the door,
The mess underneath there was worse than my floor!
And there to my wondering sight did appear
A pipe burst in two, each half hanging in air.
The sight was so shocking, I could only just stare
At those pieces of pipe hanging there in mid-air.
"How on earth did this happen?" I asked in dismay.
"I really hate plumbing", was all my spouse could say.

Meanwhile the water, knowing no bounds,
Flowed on 'cross the floor without making a sound.
Underneath the fridge and then along the wall,
Finally coming to rest at a spot down the hall.
I was thankful for tile! And I said with a shrug,
"This would be even worse if the floors all had rugs!"
So mopping with towels, I went straight to my task,
While my husband crawled under the sink on his back.

While he worked his magic with PVC pipes,
I found some more towels and continued to wipe.
Don't ask me what he did, I don't know plumbing tricks,
But not too much later, the problem was fixed.
I gathered up towels, breathed a sigh of relief,
And tossed all the towels in the washing machine.

But there is more to the story, let's not forget
That under the fridge had to be cleaned up yet!
So began the discovery of things long forgotten,
Pencils and earrings and food slightly rotten.
Oh, it's amazing the things you might find
When you roll out your fridge and look in behind!
Suffice it to say that we did not find treasure,
And cleaning under fridges does not give me pleasure.
But the good news is that behind my fridge is clean
And under my sink is as neat as a pin.

So for those who are single, young and naive,
Here is some insight to you I can give:
If you're ever married and you own a house,
These are likely the things you will do with your spouse.
Forget about having sex 24/7,
There's a thing called reality, and it ain't heaven.
It interrupts evenings you may have planned,
It throws you curve balls, and it makes demands.
It comes in all forms and wears many faces.
It manages to show up in all kinds of places.
It's broken pipes one day, money troubles the next.
It might be sick kids or dealing with death,
Loss of a job, or a car that breaks down
Leaving you stranded in some unknown town.
These are the things that as husband and wife
You live out together as you journey through life.
(So there you all have it, my spiel for today
About life's adventures you live on the way.)

By the time it was midnight, I was ready for bed
As I pulled on my nightgown and laid down my head.
"Likely tomorrow will be more of the same",
I thought as I drifted off into dreams.
And I peacefully drifted off to sleep for the night,
As my spouse whispered "I love you" as he held me tight.

Conversations Over Coffee and other things...

2009-12-13T14:09:00.001-05:00

About once a month or so I get together with one of my friends for some uninterrupted conversation time. She lives about an hour and a half away, so we pick a place somewhere in the middle (usually Panera) and we meet for lunch. We get ourselves some coffee and lunch and sit down to eat together. We talk for a while, have a mid afternoon snack, grab another cup of coffee and talk some more. Before we know it, lunch time has turned into supper time, so we have another sandwich or bowl of soup. And then, of course, we talk some more. A couple of hours later we have dessert and then, of course, a little more conversation. We've been known to have no problem spending eight or nine hours talking together. One Saturday we even got a couple of free brownies to take home with us since it was closing time and we were still sitting there talking as the staff was shutting down for the night.

This relationship has an interesting story. I first met this friend when I was ten. I was the new kid at a new school in the middle of the year in fifth grade, and she herself had not been there too long either. For some reason we hit it off right away. Through the next several years of jr high and high school we remained good friends. We spent a lot of time together, shared a lot of conversations, had a good number of disagreements, laughed together, cried together and grew up together. After high school I went off to college, she got married, and we lost touch. We didn't have email, facebook, skype, texting... Twenty five years ago when you lost touch with someone, you really lost touch.

For over twenty years we had no contact with each other. My life took me to Pennsylvania, back to various New England States, a few years in the Boston area, out to Grand Rapids, Michigan and then finally back to New England. Along the way I managed to accumulate three college degrees, one husband, three children one dog and two cats. During those years I had no idea where this friend of mine was, what she was doing, or where life was taking her. Then, not quite a year ago, I found her name when I was doing an internet search - interestingly enough, for a different person. I sent an email, and I heard back from her immediately. We made plans to meet for lunch, which turned out to be a six or seven hour event, and a friendship was reborn. And so now we meet once a month just to spend time together.

It is fascinating how you just mesh so well with some people. We were immediately comfortable with one another as soon as we saw each other again. Time had in no way erased the way we were able to communicate and relate to each other. The depth and sincerity that I had remembered was still there, perhaps even deeper than ever.

I really believe that this renewed friendship is a gift from God. I am so thankful that this person is once again part of my life. I have had freedom in my spirit to talk with her about things that I would not mention to anyone else, some of which I have chosen to not talk about for years, and I know that she understands. I have been able to run things by her and hear a different perspective. I have been able to express anger or sorrow over some things, and I have not been judged. We do not always agree. And often we approach things from very different angles. Many pieces of her life are in a very different place from mine, and yet we relate well to one another. I know that when I am talking she is really listening and processing what I am saying. We each really listen to the other. When we laugh together it is sincere. It is really quite amazing and extraordinarily rare.

In a world of tweets and texts, I am thankful to have a friend that knows what conversation is. In a world of "friending" and "unfriending" on facebook, I am thankful to have a relationship with someone who knew the definition of the word "friend" before there was such a thing as "unfriend". In a "throw away" world, that tosses out everything from old clothes to people you no longer have a use for since they can not or do not further your own personal goals, I am thankful to know someone who values relationships for relationship sake. This truly has been one of this year's greatest blessings.

If You're Going My Way...

2009-12-07T20:22:00.003-05:00

Technology and... Jim Croce???

For some reason, this afternoon I found myself humming the tune of that Jim Croce song, "I Got A Name". (Here is a link to a fantastic video of the song being performed.) One of the lines from that song that has always struck me is "If you're going my way, I'll go with you".

Don't exactly know why, but today I started thinking about technology every time I hummed "If you're going my way, I'll go with you". Perhaps it is because we now live in a technology driven world. Perhaps it is because in recent months I've been made aware of so many of the opportunities to incorporate technology into the education arena. And whenever I think about the way the world is going and therefore, by default, the way I'm going, I think of technology.

In recent months I've also become acutely aware of the fact that the reality of technology, and the extensiveness and usefulness of its presence is not always welcome. Nevertheless, it's the way I'm going. So "If you're going my way, I'll go with you".

Upon occasion, in recent months, I've also found that I'm "singing" my technology "song" to deaf ears. But that's ok...

"I've got a song, I've got a song
And I carry it with me and I sing it loud
If it gets me nowhere, I'll go there proud..."

I don't want to remain stagnant. I want to take the good from the past and move forward into the future. I want to learn more. I want to be in an environment where technology is valued. I want to be somewhere where people are sharing what they know and are being encouraged to do so. I want to continue moving forward.

"Like the fool I am and I'll always be
I've got a dream, I've got a dream
They can change their minds but they can't change me
I've got a dream, I've got a dream
Oh, I know I could share it if you want me to
If you're going my way, I'll go with you... "

So it appears that this dream is going to be "Movin' me down the highway, Rollin' me down the highway". Where that will be, I'm not certain. But hopefully it will be somewhere where I'm "Movin' ahead so life won't pass me by".