Thursday, December 22, 2011

Annual All Purpose Greeting

 
The following post is not my own writing, although I wish I could say that I did write it since I find it a fantastic piece of writing. Several years ago we received this greeting from Dan Whiting, a friend of my husband's. (I do not know if he is the original author or not. So if you are reading this and you recognize it as your work, or you do know who the author is, please let me know!) My husband and I thoroughly enjoyed it, and every year since then I have been sending it out via email to all our friends. It has now also become a part of my blog.  Please enjoy the following in the humorous and light-hearted spirit in which it is given.


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Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my wish for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, politically correct, non-addictive, low stress, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, as well as the secular practices of your choice, but with full respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

And further, please accept my wish for a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year [2012], but not without due respect for the calendar of choice of other cultures whose contribution to our diverse society has helped make this country great (not to imply that USA is necessarily greater than any other country, and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, veteran status or sexual orientation of the wisher, wishee or their third party beneficiaries).

These wishes are limited to the customary and usual good tidings for a period of approximately one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first.

Note: By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal, and is revocable ab initio at the sole discretion of the wisher at any time, for any reason or for no reason.

This greeting is freely transferable provided that there is no alteration to the original greeting text. Any transfer is to be at the risk of the transferor who, by making such transfer, thereby agrees to hold the wishee harmless from any and all adverse consequences resulting from such transfer.

This greeting implies no promise by the wisher to actually take any action or fail to take any action to implement any of the wishes for the wishee her/himself or others, or responsibility for the consequences which may arise from the implementation or non-implementation of same.

This greeting is void where prohibited by law.